Monday, April 23, 2012
I've seen so many of my high school class-mates lately. They are married, studying abroad, involved in something significant. They have something that they are living for. I don't know what I am living for. I really do not. I wake up everyday to the same routine, class, overeat, class, overeat, class, overeat, gym, work, homework, sleep, wake up repeat. I want something to live for other than food. I just don't know what that is yet. I want to wake up happy because there is something I feel like I am living for. I am living to get to heaven yes, but heaven will come with me being a good person and trying. Heaven is something to live for, absolutely. Seeing God's face will be the most incredible thing. But for the time being, I need a cause, a way to help the Earth. I also need a way to be motivated. I am not motivated to care which is most likely the problem more than anything. I want to feel excited. I want to feel in control, because right now I just feel like a waste of space and time on this earth. I am not working for any specific reason, I am not going to school for a specific reason (I mean I have a major and a career plan, but I am just not feeling it). I am not sure that I accomplishged anything in this post, but maybe getting these feelings out there is a start.